I have been traveling for a while now, I’ve been very fortunate I must admit. One constant thing about all the miles and all the airports is the food at the airports and what happens on the plane….with or without food.
As I walk through the DC and Atlanta airports today, I notice the slowly growing population of healthy eating options. Although not the best, it is a sign of improvement. Salads, humus, and fruit bowls decorate the shelves with their overpriced stickers.
They say it pays to eat healthy right? When do I get my check? I’ve been spending a ton on healthy options and the airport prices are about to put me on the street! But honestly, who has the longest lines? Of course the cheaper options like your fast food chains and small convenience stores. This is where the trouble begins!
We all know those chains don’t cook with the healthiest of oils and ingredients. You grab a quick bite, shuffle to the plane in the hustle and bustle, squeeze into your seat next to the “heavy” dude, and attempt to get situated. If you’re lucky the air is blowing a little and it’s not a million degrees in the cabin. You pull out your magazine or pop open your phone (what is that? Pop open? Like you still have a flip phone! Yea, the guy next to me did!) and start to read a little, or thumb dance through Facebook. Suddenly without warning your mouth falls open as your head slams down bouncing your chin off your collar-bone. What the hell just happened?
Just as the music from Forensic Files starts to play, you hear the narrator’s voice say in that voice that could make a simple fried chicken recipe feel guilty about something, “Aerial… (pause for dramatic effect)… Narcolepsy was to blame!”
Do the airlines put stuff in the air vents? Is there stuff in the food? Are you absorbing something through the seats? The phenomenon is troubling and unexplainable; the damn scientists can’t even figure this one out. Not enough ice or buckets to fund this research!!
It is something you just can’t fight! Sometimes I’m out before we even get to the runway. The light shake of the cabin, the air, the food, and this guy is out like a light. Said in the really fast voice like at the end of a TV medicine commercial, “Side affects may include becoming light headed, fatigue, exhaustion, flappy eyes, quiver mouth, open mouth, drool from mouth, bouncy head, head resting on neighbors shoulder, head hit by passing carts, falling arms, sudden violent body shake, get your stuff together before you fly!”
I hope your next trip is enjoyable and when you get on that plane you think of this article, smile, and have a good-safe flight!
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