Reconnecting With Self

Here is my day: I get up, get ready for work, WORK, go home, (get to my office to see clients), then eat, make jewelry, prep for work, journal, and sleep (restful vs. restless, depends). The weekends are about: running errands, making jewelry, cleaning, preparing for the work week, (at least until Soul Child starts sports) then add the aforementioned to my week and weekend. I know I am not unique in this adventure of the working adult.

If this is you, raise your hand…most adults, and teens are guilty of this!! In fact, just raise both arms!!

So when do you stop and reconnect with yourself? How do you reconnect with yourself? Then, how do you take the time to reconnect with others?

Let’s start with self. I love to journal. I have not always been consistent with it and have several journals to prove it!! Most of my journals are half written in, until I am inspired to journal again or someone buys me a journal (everyone loves buying me journals since I am always writing my thoughts down). I discovered a journaling approach called, Manifest Journal by Kelly Bennett (http://www.kellybennett.net/resources/ for more information). I love to do it right before bed because it forces me to write down all the things I need to do to be fully present with my family, friends, work, business, and clients. It also makes me consider what energy I will focus my following day on, such as; being positive, present, loving, focused, motivated, and so on. I try to read it every morning as a reminder of my day and energy. Consistent entries are: wake up positive (I’m struggling to be a morning person) and state my appreciations (a reminder of all the blessings I have in my life). What I enjoy about the journal is that I focus all the energy on positive things and what my daily, weekly, monthly, and annual goals will be. Sorry, hyper-focused on that journal, back to the blog…

I also will sit down for 15 minutes upon arriving home from work to regroup, relax, and let my work day go. I will also wait after my clients leave my office to clean and leave that energy in my office, unless it is a late client. I recommend doing that before engaging your family, (especially if it’s been a rough day at work, lots of traffic, or just feeling sour after work) seeing the mess left behind in the kitchen, or anything that may stress you.  Just take 15 minutes, get out of work related clothing, get into something relaxing, and just sit for a moment…no tv, phone, computer, tablet…just be! Then jump into the family vortex!

There are so many things one can do to take a few minutes daily to take care of themselves. You can do yoga, meditate, read a book, take a class on a personal interest, exercise, just breathe! Manicures and pedicures allow for self care, as well as “me” time. My favorite time is at the hairdressers,under the dryer. Don’t get me wrong, I hate the heat, but under there I am able to just stare off into space, read, just be, without a bother in the world. On weekends, I sleep in (what my body considers to be sleeping in), take my time, and if that little voice tells me; I will do nothing. I also recognize that as much solitude there is, reconnecting with others is important.

Ink inside out-mercia cummings-Motherhood-Reconnecting with Self-September-2014This past weekend, I saw my grandfather, who I haven’t seen in over 25 years, and my uncle who I haven’t seen in 12 years. Talking to him and listening to his history made me realize how important it is to spend time with family and friends. Yes, we are all busy, I get it, trust me, but how much effort does it really take to send a text, even better, make a phone call to say hi. Yes, our family can be the worst, work our nerves, and treat you worse than an enemy ever could; yet they are ours, and even I recognize I have to find a way to be present for them whether physically or spiritually (prayers for their happiness). Not every person in our lives can be blessed to have us active in their lives, whether due to their actions or family decisions, but we can still say hi.

Ink inside out-mercia cummings-Motherhood-Reconnecting with Self-September-2014

My grandfather, as I’ve been told, was not the best father to my mother and her siblings, I think he recognizes that, and looking at him I saw his regrets, guilt, shame in his eyes. I think it was healthy for my aunts to see him, so they could heal and release their anger. For me, it was great to reconnect with family, I was reminded that jewelry making runs in the family; my grandfather used to make rings and charms. So reconnecting can also be a part of releasing ones self from hurt, pain, guilt, disappointment, and self discovery.

When reconnecting with others, we just never know how much a “check-in” can make a difference in someone’s life, even your own! I also know how easy it is to forget our friends in our daily hustle, I’m guilty of this big time! I also know how grounding my closest friends can be. My friends allow me to be more than just a wife and mother, more than just a therapist, or jewelry maker. With them I can be MERCIA. It is important to get back to who you are. To recognize when your body needs a break from the every day, mundane, rote, consistent,…… sorry went on a tantrum there.

This may seem selfish, but when you are healthy and happy, it spreads to your work, your family, and friends. By taking that time out for yourself, whether in solitude or with others, you learn who you really are.

Mercia Cummings

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