We ask people this often, and people ask us this often. Then the typical response is fine, good, great.
I wonder how honest are we when answering this question? I think we are trained to say great, good, okay. Rarely do we let people know what’s really going on in our lives. I know we feel like it’s the polite thing to do, not to bring people into your personal business, or to put on a front. However, there are times we need to just be real, and if it’s not such a good day…say it.
I’m not saying every person that says “how are you” “how are you doing” needs to get the run down of what life is giving you. However, I often wonder, who are we trying to fool, the world or ourselves? Are we afraid of being vulnerable, what others may think of us, or what we will think of ourselves?
I think it’s amazing how many people will sit back and listen, and honestly, most of us know who we can share these things with when we need an ear. I don’t care how independent anyone is, we all need someone to lean on. To take time to say, I’m not so good, and why, this gesture is so powerful, especially in a supportive open situation. Sometimes just saying it out loud can be a relief, release, and part of healing.
The next time someone says, “how are you doing?”, you can say “great” if you are, say “tired ” if you are, “alive” if that’s all you can do to get your day started, or “not so good” if that’s really where you are. The next time you ask, don’t just listen but see if their words reflect what they stated.
I’ve even asked people what does okay or good mean.
So I’m asking you, “How Are You Doing?”
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