My name is Mercia, and I only have one child! I’ve only been pregnant once! People are astonished by this fact. Over the years the pressure to have more children has been strong. “She’ll be lonely” “it’s not right to have just one” “you really need to have more”.
Now that she’ll be graduating this school year, folks are like “You should have another one now.” “You’re pretty young have another one.” “What are you going to do since she’ll be gone?” I want to say “b***h I’m gonna f*****g live, what you gonna do?” But since my mom and dad raised me better than to say that. So I smile and just say enjoy myself.
I never planned to have kids at all. My mom felt kids took away from your life. This sentiment was restated often so even though I knew I was going to work with kids, I wasn’t haven’t any. Life seemed good that way since I was surrounded with children who, went home once I was done working with them or babysitting them!
Yet the universe knew I needed a jolt in life and it came in the form of my Soul Child!! For this child to come forth, I threw up morning, noon and night. IV’s were my lifeline!! Most folks didn’t even see me pregnant because I could barely leave the house without vomiting. There are very pictures of me pregnant because I was held up on the house. The porcelain god -my toilet was my comforter, friend and demon. But the beautiful child that I bore made the torture of pregnancy, worth it!
She woke me from my slumber of life and gave me so much life. I’ve poured my all into her. She made me a mom!! My one and only, and I love it.
I commend anyone who has more than one child. You all are super women to me, but these are the folks who want me to have more. However, I’m not less of a mom because I only had one. People sometimes negate what I’ve done as a mom because I only had one! I’ve been able to focus on her completely. I don’t have to split my time and miss things for one child over another. It’s all about her! Soul Child is good and if asked she will tell you she likes not sharing me!! (Even though I think when she was younger she wanted an older sibling). Plus with all the kids I’ve worked with and the all the nieces I have, I’m good!!!
Yes, I’ve thought about another child. I’ve wondered what it would be like now with more stability in my life. Then I think, oh hell no, I would be starting over. I smell a diaper and I don’t miss it. I see the kids without discipline and I’m like nope not me. A baby pukes and I’m running. Not me at all!!
So I’ve got two dogs. I’ve potty trained them, cleaned up vomit and crap. They cuddle with me and love me. Plus they have my heart!! So they’ll fill that maternal need that pops up once in a blue moon.
If I ever really have the urged, I’ve got plenty of people out there with kids to borrow. However, I’m done!!!
Until next time,